rain.

the rain outside should flow into my heart,
for emptiness has made it dry.

but i will live with this cold dry heart until the day
you return
to melt it
with a warm, wet kiss.

i'll spare a few, to remind you:
i'm sorry and i miss you.

but in the meantime, i suppose i'll have to make due.
until then, screw you.

warm.

Whenever you feel a warm breeze brush against you, that's the kiss I blew to you.
- Unknown.

solitude.

I'd rather live alone in solitude,
than in a crowd full of empty smiles.

lemonworld.

The world's a forest, in which all lose their way; though by a different path each goes astray.
- George Villiers

secrets.

A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets.
- Gloria Stuart

please?

Can this be my life?

heartbroken.

A quote from Eat Pray Love:
"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something."

idiot.

I am such an IDIOT for hurting you. I think you should know that I finally realized how frustrating I am to argue with. I am too defensive, over-bearing, and selfish. I am really trying to work on those things. really.
And for a long while, kind of like forever, I'll wait for your forgiveness and understanding. If you will ever grace me with it.

good friend.

it takes a good friend, to say you've got your head up your ass.

so.cute.

wee.

this is me. when i was a wee mcphee.

work.

I work 14 hours a day on gravel roads while giant trucks drive by and spray dust all over my entire body until every crevace is filled with dirt. I may or may not have a farmers tan and my pores may or may not have become tiny sandboxes. I don't make it to my hotel room until 8pm at night, and I have to leave for 5 the next morning. My hair is greasy, my feet hurt, I'm currently running on 2 hours of sleep with NO help from caffeine,
And all of this suddenly becomes worth it, every time I see that smiling face along with my lunch.
goodnight.

playboy.

Bought my first playboy, along with a double scoop of cookies and cream ice cream, in a crap gas station in this hick town I'm working in. Not only did I buy porn, I bought porn from the fourteen year old kid that was working the cash register. Safe to say I will be the talk of the town for the next ten years.
I don't like the way fake boobs look. How do they even hide the scars from surgery? Air brush? baha. ew.
The jokes are good though, I could actually see why some people would buy the thing for the articles.
Porn? I'm already over it.
seeyuh.

cali.

I love LA.

First day: VeniceBeach. Super chill and very different. Love it. Then we went driving down Rodeo drive. I only WISH I could afford to even step into one of those stores. And Beverly Hills-famous people live there!!! Like whaaa.

Day two: On the 1-405 I was playing music from my ipod and my dad says "Kristyn ever since you started wearing plaid, you've been goin all weirdo on the music." Hahah thanks Dad. So we headed to Universal Studios-didn't even go into the theme park because tickets were $70. Nothanks. So we went to the "free part" as my dad called it. Ha. Then we scoped out Hollywood blvd. Walk of fame. Snapped a few shots of stars. And Grauman's Chinese theatre...there is something amazing about knowing that these stars were ACTUALLY there, putting their hands and feet in the concrete. What was even more amazing is that I have the same size hands as Marilyn Monroe. Then some shopping at the Bettie Page store. Luuhhh. And some shopping at the hollywood highland building. Then Shabu Shabu at Koji's, which may be my new favorite meal. Then we drove down Franklin to Beachwood and found this secret little parking lot amongst the trees that was perfectly placed in front of the hollywood sign. Obviously took pictures. And I CAN'T get over the plant kingdom here. Between the tall, crocked palms trees and the beautifully coloured flowered trees, I am in heaven. Some neighbourhoods have these adorable little european-inspoired houses literally COVERED in vines to the point where they have to cut the vines around the windows. Hehe. Can I have one? I love LA. I'm so lucky my papa took us.

Day Three: Shopping. All. Day. Shopping. Went to some outlet malls, The Beverly Center Mall, and shopping down Rodeo Drive. I cannot BELIEVE how beautiful that street is. Not one ugly car, not one person poorly dressed. Not gunna lie, I was a little jealous of how rich these people are (after stepping into the Beverly Willshire Hotel and having dinner at "The Blvd" on Rodeo of course). They are so beautiful! They live so lavishly. But even so, I wouldn't trade what I have for what they have. I have an incredible family and friends, no money in the world is worth that. Cheesy? Yup. Haha oh and Congratulations to my cousin on her engagement! She texted me today. I just love LA. Can I stay here a little while longer? Maybe bring a boyfriend next time? If I ever get a boyfriend... Ugh hahaAll for today. Until tomorrow at the Beach. (Manhatten? Then Laguna?) I'm only going to Laguna because a certain someone told me I had to...

Day Four: I learned how to surf today at Huntington beach today :) and I wasn't half bad! I was able to stand up on my own a few times. My next vacation will be a place where I can surf. Its such an incredible feeling to ride a wave standing up. Our instructor, Cody, was friggin awesome. Maybe even flirty. Haha telling me I was the cutest canadian girl he's ever seen... Offering me a hot shower, calling me gorgeous and sweet cheeks. Okay maybe really flirty. Haha. Yay for californian boys. Then we headed to Laguna beach, no not the show, the actual beach. And oh. My god. BEAUTIFUL. Giant surf, huge houses on hills, tall palm trees. An art gallery on every corner. tiny streets, adorable cafes and shops. I definitely will go back sometime in my life. And we had supper at "The Beach House" and sat on the deck and overlooked the ocean. Literally heaven on earth. Could a day be more perfect? Guess we'll have to find out. All for now.

Day Five: this morning we started at urban outfitters. I think I bought too much. Ah well :). Then we headed to agent provocateur and tokidoki. I can't believe there are only 3 tokidoki stores in the world! And I went to one. Hehe. Then we went back to rodeo drive and I got jealous of all the nice clothes people were wearing. Then we headed to a few malls, one was outdoor and absolutely beautiful! Then for dinner we went to Chipotle for dinner. And there food was AMAZING. Free range meat and fresh veggies! Doesn't get any better than that. Can we have one of those in canada? Tired.... Six flags tomorrow. Can't wait. Good night.

Day six: SixFlags. Nuff said. Home time tomorrow :(

Today: I want to go back.

cali photos.