rush.

we're always rushing.

rushing to grow old, rushing to gain responsibility, time, space.

we're 20 and getting engaged, married and pregnant.

we have the rest of out lives to be married, responsible parents.

we should just enjoy our lives while we can.

because, seriously, what's the rush?

Look, I'm a hair model.

Salon 306.

Photography: Kiriako Iatridis.

Good movies can never be good books and good books can never be good movies.

All I can do is stare and smell my couch.

forgot.

i forget what it's like to:

- cry over a boy.

you don't have to.

reasons for doing things i don't have to:

• it's fun
• i'm bored
• i feel like it
• i'm curious

• you said so.

Manny and I.

Photography: Bekky Barootes.

My answer is

Yes
Yes
Yes
Yes

Yes.

Wine.

Yeasrigh, we squished grapes to make wine.
I love lady bugs, grapes AND my best friend.

It's fall.

But I will wear my sandals til it snows.

books.

you used to be a closed book, until i opened you
and realized

you were empty.

never turn back.

and i walked away, for the first time in my life.
i didn't beg or plead or even cower.

i held my own hand.
i told myself everything would be okay.

and it was.

so i never turned back.

get out.

I don't want to hear it, see it, or feel it.
get the hell out of my head.

Watch me.

You watch me like I'm a movie that I'm not starring in.

Wake.

I went wakeboarding for the first time today.
Yeasrigh.

Im drunk.

I WANT A FUCKING BOYFRIEND.

September 4th, 2008.

I read my day planner from first year tonight.

I'm an idiot.

Good afternoon, Mom.

close, but no cigar.

all good things.

I tell all my friends.

I tell all my friends I hate you. I'll even come up with mean things to say just to talk about you.

As if talking about you is anything like talking to you.

i want.

when is it my friggin turn?

i miss you.

you are september.

our story.

"and in our study, we will have tons of books. encyclodpedias, text books, novels, biographies, history books, photo albums. and somewhere on one of the shelves, in a small book, will be our story. our fairy tale."

houses.

remember when we used to drive by houses?

critique.

mix and match.

we would even write down the addresses.

I am so sorry.

my old self.

I used to be a hopeless romantic,

but now I'm just hopeless.

5 years.

I can't believe I've lived

(5 years)

without you.

Why people lie:

- To escape accountability
- To embellished reality
- To create, avoid and take something that isn't real or right.

Forgotten

Don't worry Mom, I won't forget you.

this week sucks.

i don't hate much,

but i do

hate you.

Tuesdays and Thursdays.

You used to be my Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Now you're just another face in the crowd.

dear photograph.

Love this site.

all just smoke and mirrors.

More.

Seems you got a little bit more than you asked asked for.

distance.

nothing is ever close.

the things i want are far away, out of reach or out of commission.

for once, i wish i could want something

that i can reach out

and touch.

flux.

you used to be the boy in my class

who'd do anything i'd ask.

i think of you.

i think of you when:

- i wake up

- i brush my teeth

- i eat breakfast

- i walk to school

- i sit in class

- i drive my car

- i hear our song

- i make dinner

- i'm falling asleep

- i dream.

i've figured you out.

you think you're so smart.

it's 5 o'clock somewhere.

i miss you.

Exhaust.

I am utterly exhausted. Stomach in knots. Uneasy. Homesick.

I need a hug.

I used to have a friend by that name.

You remind me of something...I just can't put my finger on it.

its a secret.

You might be far away but you're the closest thing to home.